My awakening
By Tedya Amana



Foreword




Dear reader, thank you for picking up my book. My name is Tedya Amana, a red dragon blooded sorceress and Sunite.

I write this so anyone with an academic interest in dragonblood, anyone who share my cursed bloodline, or simply curious may learn of what life is like for us. I take it you already know life changes for us once our awakening begins. Many of us become entirely new people, and retaining who we once were is sadly uncommon. I was able to stay the same, but it was not easy. I write this to let you, the reader, may know which hell I went trough to get where I am today.

Page 1


I will spare you of my life story, but I should start out early on. The first sign of awakening dragonblood often comes in the way of itching skin. This is often from our scales first appearing, and can be a strange sensation for many. The degree of how it shows itself often varies, and comes in varying speed. I myself had a relatively slow progression, but when the itch came, I had a close friend examine it. She confirmed I was developing scales, and was able to identify I had surfacing dragonblood. She recommended I saw another about this, a fellow kin and friend with great knowledge of our "condition."

He confirmed I carry the blood of a red dragon trough scent. Something I thought was strange at the time, but soon learned is quite common among kin. Many will develop a strong sense of smell, and will pick up scents we normally would not. I do not carry this ability myself, but his was quite well tuned, and could tell I was kin right away. I asked him for advice, as he himself have gone trough what I soon would. He told me to develop my mind early on, and make strong relations while I can.

I can confirm this is vital for our survival, at least if we wish to remain ourselves trough our transition. Kin have the rumor we do for a reason, and I can confirm we do indeed develop violent tendencies. We can at times be straight up unpleasant, and rather difficult to deal with. It is therefore important that we have someone who understands this is not personal, or anything we can do anything about. If anything, we need their help more than ever. We cannot come trough this without love and support.

Page 2


Time went on, and I naturally feared for my future. It was not long before I had my first flame sneeze. This is strangely how many of us discover our natural weapon. Trough an accidental sneeze. It feels strange to even write it, but this is how at least eighty percent of us learn we can. Having this ability is rather frightening at first, as we constantly worry about accidentally showing it in public, such as our sneezes can often lead to. Fortunately, there are limits to how much we can have building up inside us. I myself often found a hidden nook or corner out in the wild where I breathed out all I had in me before I went somewhere, though the fear of accidentally sending a flame while resting remained with me for years. When I eventually rented my own house, one of the first things I did was fire proofing it. Every room was enchanted against fire. I believe this to be a necessity for all kin, as our breath will always be with us.

Another trait to show itself early on is the affinity with the element associated with our ancestry. In my case, this was fire. As time went on, I desired more and more warmth around me to the point some questioned my sanity when I sat curled up close to the Crossroads and Hamley campfire with flames blazing taller than my own frame. As my own resistance to heat increased, I started to get closer and closer to any flames, and it did not take all that long before I would lay inside a campfire. The side effect of this, beside looking like a lunatic, was vulnerability to cold. Winters became downright insufferable, and a day in the snow would become worse than any winter I had faced so far. I ended up with thicker and thicker robes, until I was wearing several on top of each other.

The next trait to show itself was the most changing and dramatic one.. the anger. While I have always been a rather calm person, I became quicker to agitate. This showed itself best when I joined friends for adventures, and I suffered the frustration and agitation of being struck down again and again. All are naturally frustrated by this, but it became different for me. I blacked out completely and from what I were told, I was like a child throwing a hissy fit. I would hiss and growl a lot. I would stomp, stab, and otherwise mangle the bodies of fallen foes. I would breathe flames when it suited me, and I would otherwise be in a mindless rage.. Yet not once did I harm a friend or innocent. My anger was always justified, but the fact that I was not in control of myself, and became feral creature, was troubling to say the least. Many of us experience this as well, and it is a development of this feral instinct that leads to so many becoming violent killers. As mentioned on the previous page, having those close to me knowing what this is and what is going on was vital in me getting trough it.

It was quickly decided this needed to be dealt with. Not me nor my close ones wanted me to loose myself to the dragon inside. Darla found the solution in a ring of dragonkin. "Bond of the gold dragon" it was called. It was different from those I have heard of from Steinkreis. I was told these would directly push down on the dragon inside, and be a strain on the body, while the one Darla discovered it would merely suppress the behavior. It allowed the use of our abilities, and instead mellowed our behavior patterns to the more gentle gold dragons. It is without a doubt one of the best gifts I have ever received, and I can confirm it helps us chromatics a great deal. If we want a peaceful life, we absolutely need this ring. After I started wearing this, it took so much more for me to reach the anger levels I used to, and I rarely ever lost control like I did before. It is like a magically sealed cap on a bottle of sparkling wine. No matter how much it was shook, it never popped.

This ring can be recreated at the Greenvale School of Magic, with all members having access to Darla's research and work notes. I highly recommend anyone with surfacing dragon blood make a request for one. Pull a member aside if you have to, and explain your situation to them. They are an understanding bunch who have saved my life on more occasions than I can count, and I know they will help.

Page 3


Time went on and my blood progressed slowly. My scales started showing color, and became more noticeable. They gained a scarlet red color, though in no set pattern. My arms have the color from my wrists to my biceps, and I must admit. As a Sunite, I rather like the idea of having full length natural gloves. If one can look past them being the result of a cursed bloodline, it is a rather beautiful color. It eventually started showing around my eyes as well, giving the impression of having natural eye shadow. Perhaps Sune blessed me with some divine intervention on my development. There was no set pattern on the color over the rest of my body, though. The scales were all over, and could still be felt, but it seemed random where it showed color. This seems a common thing among kin, and I have seen great difference in color development. I have met some with the color of their bloodline across their entire bodies, and I have seen others with no color anywhere but their wings. My fire breath became stronger too. It's heat increased and the force behind it got stronger. There was little doubt my draconic side was advancing.

The ring I got from Darla stood the test of time, and I was able to live a relatively normal life for several years. I was able to hide my bloodline relatively well, and most would likely not know unless they had a good understanding of kin are, or I told them. There is no doubt in my mind these rings will be essential for our future. If we want a peaceful and normal life, they are simply essential to us. It will give us what we may need the most. Hope.

Somewhere during the time Bargus came to power in Steinkreis, something happened that gave kin hope for the future. A winged red joined in an attack against the lich Uultak in his own domain and after, the party had to leave trough a portal, strangely leading to the tower of the queen of Greenvale. Naturally, we were worried what would happen as we, although unknowing we would end up there, brought a red into the Queen's tower. We were lucky. She showed only kindness, and was thankful we weakened the lich, and she gave the red a days free pass to her city. A day she could explore the city. It may have seem like a small gesture to some, but to us, it established her as a kind, benevolent, and understanding leader. It gave us hope for the future. That we may one day be able to have a normal life. It was this day that eventually led to me going to Greenvale after my own wings developed. I shall explain more about that later, as it was relatively recent.

It was also around this time I saw the true nature of my kin, and my resolve to remain myself was strengthened. I would often meet other chromatics who knew I was kin by smell. They would often try provoking me into battle by saying they cut their way trough my beloved Hamley, or mock me by saying I will one day be one of them. I suppose I should thank them. All they did was strengthen my resolve to never be like them. There was one who stood out, though, or so I had thought. He was a friendly and charming red, whose name I will not dignify by writing down. He seemed different at the time, and I rather enjoyed his company. I even saw him as a potential love interest. This all came to a swift end when he showed his true colors when a dear friend and Keeper witnessed him sacrificing a child to Tiamat. It was a cruel awakening, realizing that we can all seem friendly and different, but in the end, us kin have the reputation for a damn good reason. I have never raised a weapon at another person, but this was the first time I ever drew my sword and said I would kill someone if I ever saw them again.

It hurt, but I learned so much. It is why I can never fault anyone for using experience as an argument against me. I have the exact same experience as them. It feels horrible, but I know all are right to do so. Kin are monsters, and I felt alone for the longest time. I often still do. It still strengthened my own resolve to be different. I had those close to me. I had my goddess who still granted me her blessings. I had my own ring of dragonkin. I had a well developed mind, but I still worried for the future. I knew well there may one be a day I too would give in, but I will always fight.

Not just for myself, but for those who have supported me trough everything. Those who comforted me, and those who cried with me. Those who helped me, and those who accepted me. I owe it to them all. I owe it to myself. I owe it to the goddess who always watched over me. I owe it to the kin going trough the same that I do. I owe it to everyone to fight this and overcome Tiamat's curse.

Page 4


A few more years went by. I was even able to travel to some other islands, and see a bit of the world before I once again returned to Thain. My stay did not last long this time.

I started to notice my wings coming in. It made me panic, and I left everything behind to set for the wastes. I told no one, I left no letters, I just left. I do regret not telling anyone, and I do wish I had. I wish I had brought everyone along when my wings came in, for it was the hardest time of my life. Everything I have worked for over the years was tested. The very limits of the ring, my own resolve, and my own sanity were put to a trial, and I understand why some say we feel the call of Tiamat.

Things were fine for the first year. I was able to wander the desert, and live on what I could conjure with my magic. I even often left bottles of fresh water for the Empyrean camp to find. My wings came, and they rose as the most beautiful shade of red. They even match the robes I have worn for so long. I am certain Sune herself blessed me with their beauty.

Then came the day I had dreaded for years.. As I watched the desert camp of the Empyrean... MY Empyrean.. I thought to myself: "I wonder how easy it would be to kill them." Naturally, I caught myself thinking so, and it alarmed me. I went back to where I camped, and looked trough everything I had, and checked my food and drink for impurities, and wrongful preparing.. but there was none. Nothing that would give me such thoughts. I had really thought of killing the Empyrean..

I climbed a nearby hill and looked over their camp under the veil of magical invisibility.. There it was, the humans I had lived with for years. The ones that had protected me for so long, and I had spent years tending to.. and I felt myself hating them. I felt anger toward their easy lives, how they could be so free to choose their own destiny. I felt anger to them for how they would treat me if they saw me.. I hated them for not being monsters.. but worst of all... I wanted to kill them, just because I could.

Words cannot explain just how horrible this felt, so I left. Even the wastes were not the right place for me anymore. I needed the dunes. I walked deeper than anyone had walked before, with the heat so intense anything less than a red would have been tortured, yet I walked on. I do not know how long I walked, or where I even walked. For all I knew, I could be moving in circles. I likely did, as all I could think of was how I could even think of harming my empyrean. I don't know if I walked for days, weeks, or even months thinking on that one matter.

Page 5


Things did not get better. As my wings grew, so did my anger. I was loosing my mind, and I knew I was right to leave. I started questioning everyone I had ever known, everyone who had supported me, everyone who had cared for me, and even people I merely knew by name. I questioned all of their motives. I felt everyone was against me, in one way or another. I felt they were all out to get me, but there was still one higher power that would be there for me. Our mother, the chromatic queen.

But that couldn't be right. I had always hated Tiamat, so why would she want me now? Was I wrong to always follow Sune? Granted, it was odd that I followed her, and not the elven Hanali Celanil. I am an elf after all. It also felt strange that I would now hate all who had been so good to me. All who had helped me so much, and given me so much support. So many individuals who had a great impact on my life, came to mind. How much they had helped me. I wanted to hate them all for having some ulterior motive, but I knew in my heart this was wrong. This is not who I am.

I had always been kind and gentle, and this could not stop now. I would disappoint the Keepers, my beloved school of magic, the rightsized, all my loved ones, and perhaps the worst, My second family. The Anisai-Brushes. I don't know how long I spent just trying to sort out my mind, but I know I am happy for my familiar. My partner for two hundred and fifty years. My beloved Cal Riz. She had been with me for every step of the way, and here she was, holding my head and forcing me to drink.

I felt myself wanting to grab her and rip her apart. I felt I didn't need her pity.. but instead of flinching from my glare, she just stroked my hair.. She didn't say a word. She didn't have to. We have been trough everything together. Absolutely everything. She didn't have to say anything. Not trough spoken words, and not trough telepathy. She didn't have to. I knew I was wrong. About everything.

I remember breaking down completely. I had truly become a monster out in the dunes, but this was not who I am. I went trough everything I had thought about, how all of it was wrong. They all did not hate me, and they had no motives in helping me. They helped me because they cared for me just as I cared for them. By the elf-father, I had even made a second family..

The anger and hatred was replaced with grief. I spent an unknown time just crying uncontrollably. At some point, I did not even make a sound anymore. I was just laying there in the dunes.. with my Cal Riz still tending to me.. Brushed my hair, and dusted sand off my robes. I always liked to keep my best appearance, and she was helping me do just that.. Then she brought me food. Critters and snakes from the desert, along with water she had gotten trough druidic magic. Magic our druidic friends had taught her. Here she was, caring for me like I so often cared for others. Perhaps most important of all, she was there. After everything, she was still there.

Page 6


But that was it.. They have all always been there. I was the one who had lost myself. I started remembering them all for who they truly were, and how much they meant to me. I had my closest friend standing with me to prove it. She was still there, comforting me, after gods know how much time. I noticed I was feeling a warmth over my left wing too, the place Sune blessed me with her symbol so many years ago. How could I forget her? The very patron who still gave me spells. The one who still blessed me despite everything. I have not even been in service for over a hundred years, yet she still looks after me. How could I have forgotten her warmth?

How could I ever have thought Tiamat trying to tempt me was anything but manipulation? It disgusts me how she could take advantage when I was at my weakest. To try that "calling" when I was such a mess. Guess what, Tiamat. Not this one. You almost had me, but I had one thing you did not account for. Years building up to this moment.

Years of preparation. Years of love and support. Years of others having my back. Years of friendships. Faith. Dedication. Resolve.

Let this be my wow to you, chromatic queen, witnessed by all who read this. You will never get your hands on this one. I will never bow down to you. I will never bend to your curse. I will stand proud as the one who overcame everything. I will dedicate my life to show all there is hope. That we can overcome you, and we do not need to give in. You are nothing but an abusive parent, and your calling is nothing short of sadistic. It sickens me that it almost worked. It sickens me that you would strike at me at my weakest, but..

For everyone who had ever stood by me, for the Keepers who gave me endless support, for the School of Magic who always had my back, for the rightsized that had always been my friends. For my second family, and for all my friends and loved ones. I will never be yours.

I may be kin, but I will never be "kin."

Page 7

I do not know how long it took before I stood up and conjured my staff in hand, but I had my beloved familiar there with me. She was smiling up at me as if saying "welcome back." That is what I finally was. Back.

All of you who have ever aided me, no matter how big or small. I can never thank you enough. Without you, I would be just another savage beast roaming the island. It is thanks to you all that I was able to overcome this curse. It is thanks to you all we still have Tedya Amana.

I thank my Lady Firehair for giving me warmth trough it all, and reminding me she is always watching over me. My life may have changed in such a way it is hard for me to do her proper service, but I will always be her Heartwarder.

Likewise, Keepers, School of magic, Rightsized, and all other individuals.

Public figures of Greenvale, Hamley and Sandburrow. I do apologize for never telling you, but I hope this book will clarify why I never did. To many of you, I may just be a monster, but to me, you are everything. I will always come to your aid, should you ever need me.

Let this book show that we can indeed overcome Tiamat's curse. With enough love and support, strong morals, and faith, we can overcome the dragon within.

Page 8

Aftermath


But my story does not end there. Tiamat may have won a battle, but I won the war. Our war. Unknown to me at the time, there was another war raging with the kin, lead by one called "The bloodwing." Things were bad enough after "The talons of Tiamat", but there was still hope. Now that the kinswar happened, that little hope was crushed under a boulder. Still, there is a tiny little bit left beneath. A squashed hope that I need to nurture grow. It will be a new "war." One that I will lead myself. Not trough violence, but with hope.

As stated earlier in my writing, I remembered her majesty, Queen Yu'syu as the kind leader who once showed mercy and kindness to kin. It is why I sat my eyes on Greenvale first. I worked to aid getting rid of the curse plaguing the city at the time, and I even suggested creating a Mythal for the city. This turned out to be a bad idea, but I had still laid plenty of ground work, leading to the eventual removal of the curse. I had hoped my aid would lead to me being allowed an audience with her majesty, but something had happened while I was in the dunes that I could never have accounted for. The bloodwing. I do not know exactly what had happened, but I saw a side of Greenvale I had never known before.

In my absence, they had become hateful and merciless. Looking only for the worst in not just me, but also those who would support me. I did not recognize this Greenvale at all, and it really worried me. It was like everything I remembered about them had been taken away, and replaced by someone ruined by strife. I was told my reward for helping the city was being allowed to leave with my head still on my shoulders. The Greenvale I remember would have thanked me, taken the time to explain to me what has happened in my absence, and told me why they will not allow me an audience. Instead I got brutal words I would honestly expect from Poisonwood. The absolute worst of it is I can't even blame them for it.

To paint a picture, talking to them was no different than talking to the devil that saw me talking to a dear old friend and Keeper. There was nothing but insults and harsh words, and while I expect such from a devil, hearing them from the people I once associated with hope cut me deeper than any knife could. Still, I cannot blame them. I know just as well as them why kin are hated. If anything, I have an insiders perspective.

This is not meant to smear them by any means. I include this so any sharing my cursed bloodline will be prepared for what comes after their own awakening. As mentioned in the introduction, we will go trough hell. If our awakening is falling into it, the aftermath is the long hard climb out.

If anyone from Greenvale reads this, know that I do not hold it against you. Yes, it did hurt to be treated as harshly as I was after coming to your city with nothing but the best of intentions, but I know exactly why you did it. I have the exact same experiences as you, yet I still came to you with memories of a city of hope. The place I would first seek out after defeating Tiamat's curse. I can only give the deepest of apologies for taking advantage of the curse, but I hope that after reading this, you will understand why I did it. It was not to deceive you, it was to have a temporary sense of being back. To be able to help you, unrestricted by my heritage. In a weird way, I am thankful for the curse. It gave me more time with you, but I do not regret taking advantage of it. I hope you understand why. I will still offer you my apology. I truly do wish you all the best, and I hope the light remains strong with you all.

Please keep fighting, and know that I do not blame you.

I blame the Bloodwing.

Page 9

Aftermath Part II

After my experience in Greenvale, I thought of returning to Hamley, but I knew approaching them would prove just as heartbreaking as Greenvale. I would just not be able to have those I spent so many years with see me as a monster. Not after my fond memories of leaving the Roadhouse, and seeing my dear friends sit at the campfire outside, chatting and having a good time. Getting to know the locals, and gradually glide right in with them. Having the children of the neighborhood come over to pretend to get help with schoolwork while they really just wanted to play with my talking panther. Spending time learning from miss Jula Sanner. Greeting the Empyrean as they came home from their shift. I hear the one who were stationed near my house has even made captain now.

No. After everything we have all been trough, I will not put either of us trough that. I searched the nearby areas, and found an old abandoned camp in the mountains. It was perfect. Close enough to my dear Hamley to be able to see it from just a short hike, yet far enough away to keep a respectful distance. I made this place my home, and I like to think what I came up with is something Sune herself will be proud of.

I had long wanted to work for a better future for those sharing my bloodline. I had high hopes for the future when I spoke with a friend in the School of magic, who was also a member of the Celestial order. We spoke of the possibility of a kin program, where the school would give the aid to kin going trough their awakening, and help them trough this transitional phase of their lives. We were both very much aware this will still have a relatively low success rate, but we both agreed even if nine out of ten still became monsters, it will all be with it for that one we would be able to save. That to not even try would be instrumental in sending so many kin to dark paths. I still think about this. How much could have been avoided if kin had just had the help they needed. We had hoped to gain the Celestial order's aid in this. To keep a track of their hearts, as they can sense who has "the taint," and can detect the color of one's heart. We also know we would likely need to depend on them to deliver a firm hand, should that be needed. Things were looking good, but sadly, he made a poor decision that cost him dearly.

I was back at square one with my goal for the future, yet I would not give up. Perhaps by chance, I had friends who needed a place to lay low for a while, and my camp was perfect for this. Soon enough, they would bring other friends who needed the same. It did not take long for my camp to grow, and my dear niece soon brought me a shadowscale to live with us. One who ran a soup kitchen in the watch, but had to leave due to rising tensions with the Bloodguard.









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